Prozac
by ezarayn
Summary: Draco (ARRR) has to tutor Harry, a punishment inflicted by a prozac addicted potions master! What will emerge from this torture? HPDM slash that's what!ooo
1. wrath of an overworked potions master

As/N hello. this story is a joint venture of tyrini and corveruth( thus the added S to the usual A/N), so be afraid ..be very, very afraid! DISCLAIMER- We do not own any of these characters..we're just having our fun, perverted as it is! This chapter is dedicated to our pet, Braeden.precious!  
  
The Wrath of an Overworked Potions Master!  
  
It was Thursday Afternoon, the last class of the day. The seventh year Gryffindor and Slytherin students filed into the potions classroom. Expressions ranged from utter disgust to gibbering despair (yes, Neville Longbottom still had potions.) Snape stared at the class with growing contempt. Yet it was not the bushy haired know-it-all or the bumbling buffoon that grated his nerves. He had made the biggest mistake of his life in assigning the students permanent potions partners from the other house at the beginning of the year. And now, a scant week into the experiment he had the intense desire to turn his classroom door into an Iron Maiden and slowly, exquisitely torture each and every one of those nitwits. When he had paired Harry and Draco together he had been feeling just slightly malicious, justifying this catastrophe of gigantic proportions by saying that their anger and hate for each other would motivate them to work harder. "Hah! What Bollocks"  
  
The class gasped and stared at their hawk-nosed, greasy haired Potions Master. "Get to work, nitwits! Twenty points from Gryffindor.and ten from Slytherin." There was a short outburst of mutters and titters that was quelled immediately by an imperious look from the potions master.  
  
Harry wondered out loud, ."Is Snape suffering from PMS?"  
  
"Potter, please. Spare me from your depraved, warped perverted theories, especially those concerning Snape's sexual organs. You need therapy, FAST... And a girl. Or a guy. Whatever floats your boat."  
  
"What the hell are you talking about Malfoy"  
  
Of course Draco, being the prat that was, just smirked annoying, waggled his eyebrows suggestively and nodded in Seamus Finnigan's direction. Harry saw red, and punched Malfoy in his stomach, making Malfoy kick out reflexively and knock over the bubbling cauldron.  
  
Chaos and pandemonium ensued, with poor Neville Longbottom being turned into a toad due the incomplete potion that had drenched him. Snape sighed dramatically; today was just not his day! He raised his voice and thundered, "Potter, Malfoy detention tomorrow at six o'clock. Twenty points from both houses for disrupting my class.. And another thirty from Gryffindor, for Mr Potter's attack on another student." Snape waved his hand, turning poor Neville Longbottom back into the pathetic excuse for a human that he was. He then glared menacingly at the class and growled "what are you staring at you bunch of pathetic, useless idiots. GET BACK TO WORK!" He needed some strong black coffee and some Prozac!  
  
Snape took his seat at the front of his class, staring at the two troublemakers over the top of his steepled fingers and occasionally letting out a cackle or two as he contemplated the punishment he would serve the two miscreants. Potter needed to learn patience, he leapt before thinking and sooner than later he was going to jump into a boiling cauldron, head first! As for Draco . the boy needed to learn to control himself and learn humility. His arrogance and witty tongue would ensure him a one-way ticket into the same bubbling cauldron as Mr. Potter. Of course the two of them would be too busy fighting with each other too care about their imminent death. Pah! Adolescent fools!  
  
The bell went off, signalling the end of another gruelling lesson. Snape was certain that if the coming war didn't kill him, he would hunt down each and every student in this class and make them howl for mercy starting with Potter and Malfoy! Revenge would be his! Mwahahaha..  
  
As the students began clearing up, a malicious, gleeful expression stole over Severus' face. The perfect plan had entered his mind. Snape could barely restrain himself. Quelling the desire to stand on top of his desk and to grind with his invisible girlfriend. uhm.. Snape attempted to achieve a state of calm.But failed miserably instead allowing his face to crease into a hideous expression of barely suppressed, unholy enjoyment.  
  
"Potter, Malfoy stay after class. I must inform you about your detention"  
  
Both Draco and Harry exchanged looks, slightly scared of the almost orgasmic expression in Snape's eyes. Then realizing that they had just voluntarily participated in a brief sort of camaraderie they sneered at each other and mentally whacked the living daylight out of themselves.  
  
After the class had petered out, and both Bushy and Red had sent sympathetic looks to their best friend while scurrying away, Draco and Harry approached the desk. Snape's eyes gleamed with childlike glee. This was even better than Christmas!  
  
He began drumming his fingers on the desk, staring at the two teens in front of him. "Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy long have I deliberated upon your punishment. The regular detention does not seem to have any effect on the two of you. And I dare not leave you two alone for more than ten minutes, as its more than likely that by then one of you would be maimed beyond repair, maybe even dead. So I have decided that to truly teach you a lesson, I must put the fear of god in you."  
  
Snape trailed off at that point, toying idly with his wand as he glared at the two students. Both Harry and Draco paled at the implied threat, Draco going so far as to back up a step.  
  
"However since I am certain that Dumbledore would not allow me to physically torture the two of you, I believe I must provide you with a punishment that will make being civil to one another seem infinitely better." Harry and Draco sighed in relief, for a minute there it had seemed like Snape had been about to curse them. However once they caught sight of Snape's expression all relief flew out of the window.  
  
"Both of you are to return to your dormitories and report back here at the sixth hour of the evening on the last working day of this week."  
  
Harry and Draco exchanged bemused looks, trying to work out what Snape meant.  
  
"Six o'clock tomorrow evening you imbeciles. Now leave"  
  
How the hell was he supposed to be mysterious while working with such nitwits? Snape was going to call his agent first thing in the morning.  
  
Till then he must go visit poppy about replenishing his dying Prozac stocks. Prozzaaaacccc!  
  
As/N REVIEW! REVIEW! Tyrini who is in the midst of her exams will have something to look forward to.something to break the monotony of studying..AHAHAHAHAH.*runs away as enraged co- author jumps at her with a sledgehammer* 


	2. the revenge of an overworked potions mas...

As/N Hello this is the second chap of Prozac. Thank you our reviewers- sphinx6, GordosGirlie and She- Who- Is- Not- To- Be- Psych! We send you lurve.lurveeeeee..lurrrrrrveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! DISCLAIMER: We do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the other characters mentioned here! We swear we're not trying to steal them! We swear.preciousss...  
  
Snape paced up and down his classroom. Yes, it was the 6th hour in the evening of the last day of the working week; that is, 6 pm on Friday and Snape was glad to have a new bottle of Prozac moving about in his pocket, tempting him like the saucy minx it was.ahhhh Prozac..mmmmm. His cloak swished ominously as he turned to sit on his Chair. Serene, calm and totally in control. Damn you Prozac. Snape smiled beatifically as the two arch enemies entered the room, scowling darkly at one another. And then, as suddenly as the good moon had appeared it vanished. Snape snarled the all too familiar feeling of malice welling up inside of him. "Potter, your rap on Potions is tenuous at best and by your side you have probably the most gifted student at Potions Hogwarts has ever seen since..Me! Your punishment is therefore to be tutored by Mister Malfoy for the remainder of your tenure at Hogwarts." "Oh and Mr. Malfoy do not look so pleased; you and Harry shall be civil with each other. This exercise shall not be a failure.if both you and Potter do not get 'A's at the end of the term you shall both fail Potions and be forced to repeat the year.together. Muahahaha. Harry you will have to do to everything Mr. Malfoy proposes. regarding Potions," he added quickly, subduing the fast widening grin on Draco's face. "Now today Mr. Malfoy will teach you how to make this terribly useful healing Potion, I'm quite sure it's saved your life more than once, Potter considering the incredibly stupid and easily avoidable physically taxing situations you get yourself into ever so often. Its components are listed on the blackboard." he spat. He was feeling just a tinsie bit vengeful. "But, Professor what exactly does it do?" Harry asked, in strained respectful tones. "What does that matter, Potter you nitwit? Are you so mentally deficit that you can't even follow order? Surprising with that bossy Granger around," Malfoy added as an afterthought. "It restores strength.though only marginally." Snape said quickly, hoping to avoid another shouting match. Too late, he groaned inwardly. "Harry.Draco..." he began, screw it, "YOU IDIOTS WILL REMAIN SILENT TILL I FINISH OTHERWISE I SWEAR YOU'LL BE LOOKING FOR BLOOD TYPES THAT MATCH YOUR'S BEFORE I'M DONE WITH YOU." He shouted this with more conviction than he actually felt, his hand in his pocket clutching the bottle of Prozac for reassurance. Harry and Draco stared at him blankly, wondering whether their beloved Potions master had finally been pushed over the brink of sanity. "Well Harry seems to enj-" "Mr. Malfoy," he snarled. Draco was taken aback. Severus never addressed him that way! He was his Ickle Dwackie..uh.yah. "Yes, Professor Snape?" "Now the two of you," he said, as they glared at each other, "are going to have to get along. Or in addition to this you'll have to serve detention together.Basically if you step out of line you'll be stuck with each other for an eternity. Doom. Doom. Hehehehehe." "But-" Harry began. "Mr. Potter would you like your Quidditch playing privileges revoked? Didn't think so." He smirked. If they don't behave I'll have them in Dumbledore's office before the twat himself can say Sherbet Lemon. Ah! They seem to get the picture. Now I can be my charming, sociable self again. He thought happily. (As/N he really does need Prozac) "Wait, I don't have to call him Professor Malfoy do I?" Severus groaned. I wonder if St. Mungo's needs a male nurse! Though, with my luck Potter'll probably end up there as well. And then I'll be doomed to an eternity of Gryffindor stupidity. Dooooom. "Yes, Potter," Snape smiled, releasing the malice that had been driving him crazy for the past ten minutes, "You do. And every time you don't ten points shall be deducted from Gryffindor." Snape could barely suppress his mirth when he saw the look of complete and utter confusion on Potter's face (priceless), although he did wait till he had left the classroom before he started doing the Happy Dance and laughing hysterically. "Muahahahahaha!" Ok.so he tittered a bit too.  
  
As/N review or I shall send my flying devil monkeys after you! Evil evil! Please inform me about any mistakes! 


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